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Grover78
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Name: Andrew
Country: Canada
Gender: Male
Interests: Growing closer to my Saviour! mountain biking, friends, COFFEE, debates/discussions, friends, music, Technical (lights and sound for churches), cars, animals, rock climbing...the list goes on and on
Expertise: Jammin on my bass, encouraging friends, makin others laugh -- usually at my expense, intended or not!
Occupation: Parts/Service
Industry: Transportaion
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
MSN: bass_and_bikes@hotmail.com
Member Since:
3/14/2005
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| Frankly I have no idea if anyone is still following this thing. If so.... don't bother. This will be the last post from Grover78. And if you ARE still following this... first I'll be quite surprised. Second, please feel free to follow my further adventures at http://www.prodigalpondering.blogspot.com Goodbye Xangaland. It was good while it lasted | | |
| So here's the deal.
Lately in my town (its over 15,000ppl but I hesitate to call it a real city) I've noticed something that really bothers me. I'll get to that in a sec, but I was raised that my life is my business. Your life is your business. I am free to offer advice and opinions on your life, just as you are free to do the same to me. However I do not have the right to tell you how to run your life, or to cut you down if I don't agree with your lifestyle or your life choices. I am not one to pass judgment on others, because I'm screwed up... If i was perfect I would have a right to judge, but I'm NOT perfect so I try hard to keep with the "Whatever happens, happens" attitude about others. I will try to help others, and prevent people from making stupid choices, but I try not to stick my nose where it does not belong.
So what I've noticed is this: This town (apparantly one of the richest towns in Canada, based on income/personal property value per person, and also having a HUGE abundance of churches per capita) is horrible. Sure it is a very pretty town, with no real "poor" area, well cared for properties and houses, and so forth. However it seems to be over-run with the following: Narrow-minded people who live such a boring life that they find great pleasure in finding and spreading the latest gossip. Or if they can't get the gossip, they will start their own. People in this town seem far more interested in spreading SHIT about others then actually meeting the NEEDS of those around them.
I know of one couple who is engaged. There are kids involved, and as such many people (including some of the family involved) are less interested in helping, encouraging, and mentoring this couple then spreading lies and making life difficult for them. The sad part is that people are basing these actions on preceptions of who these people were years ago, not who they are now. Even sadder is some of this is coming from the so-called "christians"
I'm trying very hard to keep my emotions in check about all of this, but I am getting tired of hearing the constant gossip and lies. I have had afew situations where someone has approached me with gossip about someone I know. The lies and total untruths I've heard are astonishing!! I ask where they got their information, and then set the record straight. It seems people are more content to pass on "Did you know what I've heard about so and so?? I've heard he/she is doing THIS or into THAT!" And instad of going to the person in question and asking if it is true or not...they just keep spreading it! Its even worse when people take what they heard, throw in their own personal views/ideas/judgements/ and THEN pass it on. Yet when they are the one being gossiped about they are incredibly hurt and angry - but of course its ok to gossip about OTHERS, just not themselves right??
I'm upset. I'm angry. I'm mad. I'm hurt.
As one who tries hard to live my life with Jesus Christ as my example, it is "Christians" like these who make me embarassed to call myself a Christian. For most of my 20s I was ashamed to call myself a christian, not because I was ashamed of my faith but because I was embarassed by the pre-concieved ideas people have of Christians. Then I mellowed and became more comfortable with the title of "christian". Sad to say I am drifting back to being ashamed of the title. Mostly because of what others THINK a christian should be/live/act, but also because I also far so short of the example I try to live up to.
Comments welcome as always.
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| The Son To The Father
Down on my knees again tonight
Hoping the words come out right
I feel like a boy that needs some help
I've done all I can do myself
I feel so tired
Not sure if you can understand
Each night when I fall asleep
I wish I could hold your hand
And I've tried, and I cry
while these tears
fill the sky
Can you hear me?
Am I getting through this time?
Can you see me?
Can you make me feel alright?
Do you hear me?
Are you in this place right now?
I feel so completely alone
Am I still your son?
Sometimes late at night I'll lie awake
And dream of the man I wish I'd be
I try to be strong but I can't get through
But God what I need right now is You
Never let go
Please take away this fear
What would I be living without you near
I'm so tired and I'm scared
Let me know you are near
Can you hear me?
Am I getting through this time?
Can you see me?
Can you make me feel alright?
Do you hear me?
Are you in this place right now?
I feel so completely alone
Am I still your son?
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Please don't leave me
Am I still your son?
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| Its been a while since I wrote anything in here. As usual I've been busy,
anyways, I do have an update. Recently a certain chain of events has left me in a financial pinch. A REALLY tight pinch. Then today my boss told me I am getting laid off as of this Friday. He gave his reasons, and I have no argument with any of them.
Which brings me to tonight. A slight bit of background first. Our church has started something they call "The Groove" a youth (Highschool age to 20's) event every week. Its in a local resturaunt Saturday nights, with local talent providing the music. The drummer for the worship band I play with approached me with the idea of playing for The Groove at some point. Well, our first practice was this past Sunday afternoon, our second practice was tonight....
A song he wrote really impacted me. (His name is Dimitiri, so all credit for the lyrics below go to him)
Falling Slowly
I don't know you,
but i want you,
All the more for that.
Words fall through me,
And always fool me,
And i can't go back.
And games that never amount,
To more than their meant,
Will play themselves out.
Take this sinking boat and point it home,
We've still got time.
And raise your hopeful voice you have a choice,
You made it now.
Falling slowly,
Eyes that know me,
And i can't react.
Moods that take me,
And erase me,
And i'm painted black.
Well you have suffered enough,
And warred with yourself,
Its time that you won.
Take this sinking boat and point it home,
We've still got time.
And raise your hopeful voice you have a choice,
You made it now.
Falling slowly sing your melody,
I'll sing along.
I think the last part really touched me. "You have suffered enoug, and warred with yourself, Its time that you won. Take this sinking boat and point it home, We've still got time. Raise your hopefull voice, you have a choice, you've made it now"
It reminds me that my reward is coming, Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe not in this life at all. But I do know my attitude has a lot to do with it. I can sit and sulk. I can throw a pitty party (I'm good at those!). Or I can submit, realize GOD is in control, and that somehow or other things will work out to His purposes.
I'm really tired though, I have not slept well for about 2 weeks now, so I'm hoping to go to bed early today.
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| I spent the evening with my kids. Well not MY kids, but they soon will be. What a great time! We played video games. Mostly I watched cuz I'm not good at them, even Super Mario. Its ok though, it was a very relaxing evening, which is EXACTLY what the doctor ordered. I am so in love with Susie, and her kids. I'm past the mushy gooey gross stage, but I still can't wait to see her every day. I just can't believe that she does so much for me. She really does stabilize me in a number of areas...its hard to explain.
I was going to write more but suddenly my brain has abbandoned me. Oh well. I guess this will have to do for now. Maybe more next time!
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